In the office, bosses are equivalent to Gods (and in some cases the Devil!). We pray for their support and hope we don’t have to face their wrath. They are invisible yet omniscient. And there is nothing like a tour with your boss to break the ice and glean into his “mortal” persona. Probably because more alcohol is consumed on such excursions than water. Where I work, it’s imperative that you drink. This was made clear in my first office party – drink or perish. Survival of the alcoholic.
While touring the Maharashtrian hinterland with four colleagues whose combined work experience is more than 150 years, I got to hear a myriad of anecdotes ranging from wildlife to politics to farcical mythology. These are some of the more fascinating ones which flowed after they were sufficiently drunk and the morals that I assumed they meant to convey…
Shiva, the Destroyer was bored when his consort Parvati was visiting her parents. He only had Nandi the bull to keep him company. After dancing around Mount Kailash for a few days, they made a pact to satisfy each other’s needs. Shiva, being the God went first. When
Nandi’s turn came, Shiva got so scared that he fled and went into an enclosure whose entrance wasn’t big enough for the bull to pass through. To this day, statues of Nandi are depicted sitting outside the temple, facing the idol and patiently waiting for him to come out and finally get his due.
Moral: Never screw a bull. \m/
One fine day Indra, God of War, Storms, and Rainfall; decided to test the villagers’ devotion and make himself feel important (I wonder why as he was God of sooooooooo many things!!!). So he called all the clouds and instructed them not to burst. One of them was a little hard of hearing and did. This made Indra very angry. He called the culprit and thunderously asked him why he had disobeyed express instructions. To this the cloud replied that he hadn’t heard clearly the first time and even if he did go against Indra’s wishes; his actions had only furthered the god’s intentions. The village where it had rained had sown all its seeds in the hopes of more rainfall thereby exhausting its existing stock with no foreseeable returns.
Moral: Always keep reserve stock in case of force majeure conditions.
Upon hearing Indra’s decision, Shiva also decided to stop playing his conch which apparently brought fertility to the lands surrounding Mt. Kailash. All the farmers but one migrated to lands under the jurisdiction of more benevolent Gods (thank God for polytheism!). When his curiosity got the better of him, Shiva decided to ask the remaining farmer why he had stayed back. The farmer replied that he still kept tilling the soil and sowing the seeds because he did not want to forget his métier once the fertility of the soil was restored. Realising that he had not played his conch in years, Shiva immediately started blowing out the dulcet tones to the delight of the farmer.
Moral: Keep in practice what you are good at.
P.S.: For those who don’t know and/or are confused (like I was):
Bull: an adult un-castrated male domestic bovine
Cow: the mature female of cattle
Ox: an adult castrated male domestic bovine
Bovine: any of a subfamily (Bovinae) of bovids including oxen, bison, buffalo, and their close relatives
Bovids: any of a family (Bovidae) of ruminants that have hollow un-branched permanently attached horns present in usually both sexes and that include antelopes, oxen, sheep, and goats
